Dating Doom Pt.2

This is the second part of my dating experience post.  I hope you all enjoy reading and have some good brain stewing over it.   Leave a comment so we can continue this.  No future posts about dating. 

How do you define your "type"?  Is it someone you get along with or someone you find yourself attracted to?  Do you seek similar interests or polar opposites to make it interesting?  

In online dating you can chose to align or offset criteria with mouse clicks.  You hedge your interests and take risks in order to see what mix works.  Unfortunately all of the keywords, height ranges, and relationship expectation check boxes cannot prepare you for natural chemistry.  Setting up the first meeting is always a bit nerve wrecking.  

Speaking from experience you never know if that person you have been texting, chatting with, or talking to will have a lazy eye, be 80 lbs more than you thought, or actually way too hot to be sane.  But in reality it doesn't matter.  A failed first date for one reason or another is not a bad thing.  You cannot expect everything in this world to be fairy-tail.

What is important!!! Hindsight speaking here... is that you do truly learn from each person you meet.  Do not become desperate or settle for things that challenge your morals or extend your comfort level beyond what it should.  Meaning do not stay with the out of shape uncoordinated one if you put a lot of value into health and fitness.  Chances are it will not last and your true feelings will come out in time.  Valuable weeks, months, or years you could have been meeting new faces.  

It will be exhausting if you do not luck out and meet your soul-mate right away.  I actually took off August 2014 from dating because I realized I needed to realign my priorities, stop extending myself, and quit making calls that were out of character.  It was a nice breather!!!  

You will meet people... real people, fake people, and many just trying to sort through the same shit you are.  Some may drive you crazy.  Others may make you laugh harder than you have in months.  And still a few will make you think about you choice to go online in the first place. 

What you need to realize is that even though talking to multiple people at a given time seems irresponsible, immoral, or rude that you are in the driver seat.  You can chose to steer to a dangerous cliff (multiple partners) or take some fun bonus roads (call these exclusive relationships).

Don't be afraid when you find the lion share of your time and interest going to one individual.  There is no need for titles at this point.  Its hard to put feelings into words, but I will try.

Waking up next to a familiar face, wrestling on a Friday night, or traveling somewhere in the world with someone you get along with are some great times to be shared.  As I said before human connection is important.  Few people can live happy and fulfilling lives alone.  I am one who thought I could and everyday I see how wrong I was.

At times I look back and regret some of my choices in the dating world.  Some very dark times have been the result of hanging onto cards I didn't want to fold.  Pain, anger, sadness, empty, and disbelief are just a grab bag of words from feelings I have gone through.  

Sure, if you can avoid all of it in the first place, more power to you.  Just do not hesitate to act in fear of experiencing the bad.  

Like any failed experiment, conclusions can be drawn.  You have a working knowledge of cause and effect that you can build upon.  The only trick is not getting stuck in repetitive negative cycles.

Einstein defines insanity as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".  Put yourself out there and learn with each day.