30 Days Just Because

It is very often that I talk to friends about their latest obsession.  Whether it is a new diet, effective exercise, or quirky new hobby it is important that we are trying new things all the time.  Like many people I get bored with routine and tend to stray away from consistency.  

Why is it so hard to be consistent?  

In my experience the challenge comes from not setting up a routine that is easy to manage under the normal disruption life presents.  Routines can range from the OCD Steve Jobs type, wearing the same outfit everyday, down to the lackadaisical hipster who only drinks PBR tall cans.  Over the years I have experimented with routines trying to eek out more productivity, eliminate the easy day to day decisions, or just to push myself.  

When playing with new routines setting expectations and repercussions is important.  An easy example that comes to mind is when I decided to drink butter coffee every morning for breakfast.  If you haven't read about the benefits of butter coffee a quick google search will yield a lot of great content.  The goal for me was to eliminate the decision of what to have for breakfast, ensure that I do not rush out of the house without breakfast, and increase neuron activity with a jump-start caffeine alone cannot provide.  

Setting a goal of maintaining this routine for 30 days gives a trial period that isn't too far in the future it seems impossible and also is short enough that each day you miss the activity or meal has a significantly measurable effect and can be "punished".  In the case of the butter coffee 30 day challenge, for any day I skipped the meal I owed 100 burpees.  The outcome of this challenge is that I no longer drink butter coffee on a regular basis.  I experienced burn out of the meal and it became harder and harder to maintain... I got pretty good at burpees the last week of the 30 day challenge.

The butter coffee experience was almost 3 years ago now and today I use the past experiences to shape new challenges.  Currently I am tasked with doing an Airdyne bike workout everyday. 

Workout Details: Duration = 4 min ; 10 sec low effort 20 sec max effort ; repeat 8 times

Unfortunately, I caught a bug and instead of continuing the workout daily while sick I am deciding to accrue days that I owe and have to make up within the 30 day limit.  This is an important part of these challenges for anyone looking to take them on.  You need to be accountable to yourself and enforce the rules.  It is easy to let the challenge push beyond 30 days and just make up the days you missed on the back end, but what is the result?  You become comfortable with taking a break and making excuses.  In these moments you need to push yourself even harder.  Doing 4 minutes of Airdyne is hard.  When done correctly you feel nauseous and your legs feel as though they will give out at any moment.  But like most discomfort, it quickly fades and you feel great.  Give yourself some rest and get after that second, third, or whatever set you are on.

Excuses?  We all make them.  We all hate hearing them.

In the words of the motivational CT Fletcher. "It's Still Your Mother Fucking Set"

Guest Post: G. Orozco

"Here we are experiencing the trials endemic to any journey. Perhaps we've failed, perhaps our goal turned out to be harder to achieve than anticipated. No one is permanently successful, and not everyone finds success on the first attempt. We all deal with setbacks along the way. Ego not only leaves us unprepared for these circumstances, it often contributed to their occurrence in the first place. The way through, to rise again, required a reorientation and increased self-awareness. We don't need pity - our own or anyone else's - we need purpose, poise, and patience." - Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy

I grew up a competitive swimmer from around age 8 and loved being in the water. Swimming gave me lots of great things and I enjoy it to this day. I can accredit my body awareness, coordination and thirst for competing to the sport. I swam competitively through high school where I decided to stop, but began lifeguarding and used swimming as a career for 12 years. Which lead me to open water races which were an amazing, new backdrop of racing but also convenient at the time when I could walk down to the ocean. Throughout all of this "athleticism" I rarely touched weights, and worked on my strength, let alone a barbell. I barely conditioned or even thought it would benefit me at the time, but struggled with lots of small debilitating injuries.

I always considered myself an athlete, but never truly tested my true strength. Until recently. Before I ventured into weightlifting, I had a deep curiosity of the sport and interests in barbells. I think it started with me hearing about crossfit, watching competitions and talking to friends to who did crossfit. Then seeing strong women and do amazing things like snatch and cleans. Yet, I didn't want to do crossfit because I was also very aware of the dangers of not properly knowing how to lift. So with a suggestion from my man partner Tyler at the time he suggested I start squatting with him at our local neighborhood powerlifting gym. I had been a regular gym goer prior, but was very intimated by this new environment. I knew the fundamentals, squats, pressing, etc and had some limited back squatting experience back in high school, but I had no idea what I was doing.

Stemming from this exploration, I realized, I had a lot to learn. But I was ok with that, so I signed up with the powerlifting gym and set out for 3 months of programming and training and wanted to learn about squatting and build my strength. It was an odd and exploratory experience. I was still training for my open water swimming and a triathlon or two. So it was an interesting venture. Yet I built a foundation of lifting and familiarized myself with barbells and your basic lifts and am grateful I took that challenge upon myself.

When Tyler and I moved to Washington, I knew life would be different. Yet I was excited. New backdrop, new state, etc. We both set out to try new things. My goal was to try Olympic Weightlifting and challenge myself to learn weightlifting techniques and get strong. Now, it is my new sport, my new challenge and my new therapy. In an amazing way it has replaced swimming, and I'm ok with that because I know I will always have those moments in swimming when I am completely encompassed by it.

Weightlifting is not easy, but when done properly, through proper technique and grace, it is beautiful. This sport has its own personality and a way of communicating back. There are days it tells me no. Then sometimes yes, then no. You have to show up, mentally, physically and spiritually (if that’s your thing) because the bar knows. I have never been good at being bad at things. When I stepped into a true barbell gym, I was mortified but so intrigued at the same time of where it would take me. I learned to squat properly, I refined my lifting patterns through pressing, benching, deadlifting and other drills. Then once I was introduced to the snatch and clean & jerk. From the first jerk I did, I was in love with the feeling of the movement and then once I figured out the snatch it was the same. But through the whole process it was hard, my body didn’t have the range of motion that I thought it did, or I was fumbling through the movements and patterns. With relentless attention, I can say now that I can snatch and clean and jerk and when it is right, it's amazing. 

I competed in my first weightlifting competition after 8 months of training. I had no expectations, but wanted to at least hit my opener. Which low and behold was changed to my PR snatch by my coach at the 11th hour. I missed all three attempts. With all the adrenaline, nerves and spiraling out of control, I let my focus drift and the bar and I didn’t meet. Out of all of my years of competing and being an athlete, I am so amazed and put a back with this sports ability of telling you NO! For the first time in a long time I was reminded how new I still am to the sport and how far I have come. Yet, how far I have to go. Needless to say, I was very close to losing my cool and had to excuse myself to the bathroom to regroup after missing all three of my snatches in very hilarious attempts. They were all there, but I didn’t believe in myself. The bar knows and the bar will own you. Another thing I am learning. I went back after slapping some sense back into me and hit my next three lifts, they weren't my best, but a great example of moving with your body through the adrenaline.

The point of all of this is that, all of this is all so relevant to LIFE. I am so grateful to be learning and training through weightlifting now, although there are days I wish I learned at a younger age, yet I'm grateful to be here now. Sometimes we set out to do things with no expectations, and think that we have it under control. Other times we set out to do things that we know nothing about. No matter the journey there will always be something along the way that forces you to re-assess, re-calculate, and potentially be uncomfortable. Even having this mentality, you can still be thrown. What is so beautiful in all of it is when someone rises and pushes through. Whether it’s pushing past your hardest mile, a tough day at work, a bad day in life, or a tough number at the bar. Show up, have poise and believe in you.

New Beginnings

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

-Theodore Roosevelt

Admittedly it has been a really long time since submitting anything to this website.  This is not due to forgetting about its existence or poor time management, rather my ideology that “good” material really only comes naturally.  In short, I can only write something that means a lot when there is a hiccup in my life. 

Self-inflicted discomfort, in a non-sadistic way, is important.  We are taught to strive for the “dream”, but this dream is not always realistic and certainly is not what it is cracked up to be.  Recently I decided to leave my job at SpaceX.  Good salary, great company mission, fun environment, and subsidized fancy food truck!!  I mean this all sounds and was great, so why leave?  

I cannot answer this question easily and yet it seems so important to be able to justify my choice.  Simply put, I need challenges and new adventures to keep me interested.  SpaceX is great in that there are technical challenges, but what remains is everything else.  Same commute to work, same bar for a beer, same grocery store, same…you name it.  The system has been hacked, fully explored within reason. 

But Los Angeles has so much to offer!  Yea sure, there are new restaurants, different bars, and activities all around the city.  However, again, same weather, same people.  It’s odd that the more indirectly regimented my life has become the more itchy I get for a change instead of reclusing into comfort.  What is in store now that I have left my job?  Honestly, much will remain the same.  Things in my life that I LOVE will still be there.  My partner, my sweet kitchen knives, and my never satisfied thirst for exploration.

Incremental change in your life is not a bad thing.  It’s just safe and slow!  Being impatient is both my worst and best quality.  Along with somewhat reckless decision making, my excitement levels have sky rocketed.  Am I scared about an unknown future?  Yes.  Am I willing to forfeit freedom for more definition? Not at all.  In life we are given so many opportunities to make choices.  Choices that define who we are and where we are headed.  Decisions that can weigh heavily if the result is negative and can feel amazing when the outcome is positive.  In the spirit of this blog I choose to continue aiming to fail.  It is up to us to define the path we take.  I choose not to tip-toe, but instead step whole-heartily forward.

To everyone who has been part of my life at SpaceX and in Los Angeles, I thank you!  You have been an irreplaceable part of my life and I am a better person for that.  And to my partner, Giannina, I am sorry!  Haha.  You are an amazing person and I cannot wait to see what our future holds together.  While everything changes around us I want you to know the one constant that I look forward to is time with you.  

FREE MONEY

Before anyone gets any preconceived ideas of what this entry might be about I want to clarify that it is simply a typical rant about a pretty beat to death topic... Money.  I am not a financial adviser so take all of the following with several grains of salt.

Whether you grew up rich or poor money played a big role in your life.  As a kid you are so excited to get your first dollar from the tooth fairy.  You race your friends to go pick up a quarter on the sidewalk.  You open birthday cards to numerous presidents face whom you could care less about, chucking the cards to the side, and stacking crispy bills to count at the end.  As time went on though you realize that money becomes more and more a part of your everyday life.

Can you remember your first self-purchased meal?  Did you get any extra bacon on that burger when you were twelve going out with friends for dinner?  We quickly realize that this resource is finite and powerful, however, all to scarce for us to live the way we'd like.  Sure you can cite examples from your life or others in the past and present that live off little to no income... shove it.  I am speaking about the OVERWHELMING majority.

If you were/are fortunate enough to attend a college you know that tuition costs more money than you probably earned in a 5 years of part-time work.  You get letters in the mail for credit cards and you spend your time scanning websites or wandering aimlessly in stores.  But you have to be careful with so much spending power and so little supervision.

Having a credit card is unfortunately becoming a requirement.  You need to built credit in order to own a house, get a future loan, or emergencies that may creep out of no where.  But, this doesn't mean you need debt.  My own spending rules are as follows:

1. Use your credit cards as you would cash or a debt card.  Do not spend excessively.  Make sure your checking account can cover any and all credit card expenditures and still have enough for rent/food/bills.
2. Pay your credit card off in full every month.  NO EXCEPTIONS (unless it is health related and you have no other option).  Credit cards offer between 1% to 6% back on most any purchase, that is 10x the interest on your savings account!  If you instead opt to only partially pay your credit card you will be slammed by 10-22% interest rates!

Save for big purchases and do not get antsy.  The best and most vague words of advice I have for anyone in regards to money is "Money comes and money goes".  There will be times when you are hurting and eating ramen and there will be times to drink wine and eat dry aged steaks.

Ring of Fire

What do you want to be when you grow up?  This question is asked at a few points throughout our lives and the answers are ever changing.  Firefighter, doctor, or rocket scientist.  Much of the time we don’t truly know who we are and where our place is in society and the world, so why do we come up with these dreams and aspirations?

Our hobbies, interests, and even morals change as we grow up and develop a better understanding of ourselves.  Admittedly I am still in the thick of it.  I have wanted to be a chef, a professional extreme athlete, and a motorcycle designer.  I have gone from hunting to being against concealed carry laws to petitioning for my right to bear arms to be reinstated.  So how do we, or more specifically…how did I end up where I am and where the heck am I going with all this.

At the end of my college career, like many other new graduates, I was faced with one of the most real decisions of my life, my first job.  I studied mechanical engineering, which I chose early on (senior year of high school) because a quick Google search showed me it was the most flexible major.  With this major I could design race cars, help the developing countries progress their way of life, or even build rockets.  Four days after graduation I started my career as a manufacturing engineer at SpaceX, a private sector launch company.

My decision to go work with rockets and spacecraft was based on the idea of building really cool shit.  I am not a space geek by any means.  I don’t know how many moons Jupiter has or what type of star the sun is, but I do have a passion for taking on challenges and relentlessly pursuing a solution.  Four years and 18 successful missions later I have great pride in what we are doing as a company and my contributions to the future of space travel.  However, nothing prepared me for a failure like I witnessed live just 2 weeks ago.

Early on our launches were few and far between.  My involvement with the engines and constant discussions with fellow engineers gave me an attachment to the vehicles that kept me up at night before t-0.  Now that I have been working in research and development I watch the launches with the same excitement but am missing the details to be helpful when questions arise.  Watching the rocket live and see it quickly disappear into a gaseous cloud of oxygen and partially combusted RP1 I was speechless.

Now that I have had time to reflect on the launch failure and myself the words are easier to put on this page. 

Complacency is a killer!  This is not to say that we are complacent by any means at SpaceX, exactly the opposite and what we are doing to the space launch industry no one has ever done before. Launch, Land, Re-launch!  This is an incredible idea and growing pains can be expected when boundaries are pushed.

I have been lucky enough to work with a few brilliant mentors who taught me something that I have always lived by, but now am a lot more conscious of it.

“Work like you have nothing to lose”

Fear of failure is a self-inflicted obstacle we all need to overcome.  What are you truly afraid of?  Is it the possibility that you might be left without a job if you try something and it doesn’t work out?  Is it a lack of understanding that forces your mindset into a hole and you can’t see a way out?  The idea of working like you have nothing to lose is simple.  Try things! Mess up!  Learn from your mistakes!  Cascade this work ethic across all aspects of your life. 

As I said before I am an engineer, but also an extreme sport athlete and glorified executive chef of my own kitchen.  Passions need to be fed and it is important to not lose sight of what makes you feel alive.

So, What do you want to be when you grow up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmJgW-yMAIg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhMSzC1crr0

http://www.space.com/29789-spacex-rocket-failure-cargo-launch.html

Addicted to Ink

"SO IT GOES"

This text resonates in my mind for a couple reasons.  It is the words that came to mind as I walked around downtown San Diego in only Levi's asking for a quarter so I could get back home.  When times are tough you have to realize that you don't really have it that hard.  Struggle is relative, and things I thought to be big in my life or hard are truly insignificant when compared to others I have come across in the world.  The second reason being it is the one tattoo I am so happy I never got!

When I was young I knew that I wanted to be tattooed.  This could be a result of my environment, living in East County San Diego where I was surrounded by people with ink.  But the main reason I started getting tattooed in high school was because I wanted to become art.

I get asked all the time if I regret any of my tattoos.  I get prodded by individuals who say that I am going to look gross when I am older.  And most frustrating is I get judged by those who know nothing about me at the sight of peeking black and grey.

Today more people than ever are getting tattooed.  An art form that dates back thousands of years is now mainstream.  From delinquents to doctors you can see the rise of permanent art propagating throughout the world.  

In some cases they pick flash book art or drunkenly stumble into a shop.  In others, a body piece can take years to plan, even longer to execute, and cost over $20,000. But somehow the stigma about tattoos still remains.  

The burden that someone has to carry once the needle hits the skin suddenly overshadows who a person is.  The failure here is the lack of understanding that every mL of ink spread onto the body has a meaning.  Its a story that represents a time in your life, even if it is only just a shitty shamrock your buddies dared you to get.

Some companies these days force employees to cover their arms if they are tattooed.  In extreme cases (but not uncommon) a candidate can miss out on an opportunity due to their appearance.  This is no different than any other stereotype.  Race, religion, and appearance are all barriers to entry.  The way I see it though, probably because I am somewhat reckless and selfish, if someone judges you negatively based on a tattoo then you should be happy not to work for such a group.  

Freedom of expression in the form of body art is one of the most personal and deep rooted stances you can take.  I am not a fan of sugar coating with bullshit.  The traditional suit to a garbage man job interview or telling your fat friend they look great naked dont sit well with me.  I believe you should be who you are.

Why didn't I get the "So It Goes" tattoo if I feel so strongly about being real?

I was frustrated with my life at the time.  I felt like I had major set backs and I was acting out against myself.  I picked a 1" tall bold font and got the stencil placed on my neck.  Yes!  This tattoo was going to be blasted across my throat so all could see.  When I went over to the mirror to check the placement before starting I was stunned and I could not get that tattoo.  The artist fully understood.  As he closed his eyes and laughed somewhat at my reaction I saw "$" signs on his eyelids.

We all have our own path and personalities.  It is important to realize who you are and not be afraid of judgment.  That day I realized who I am not, but who I am is constantly evolving, 

Sleeping...or lack of

This post explains my efforts at modifying sleep patterns and muscle recovery.  Just remember I am not a doctor and am a strong believer that you should do your own research before starting any new supplement or biological daily ritual. 

Personally, sleep has never been a main priority or even thought as enjoyable.  I have always frowned on the amount of time an "average" person spends with their eyes shut out to the world, 7-9 hours every night!  That is 20 years if you are like me and consider a high speed exit from this world in your 60's.

When I was young all I wanted was more day light to work on RC cars, ride my bicycle, and avoid the scary chasing shadow cast by the street lights a I raced down hills on my roller blades or skateboard.  I would wear myself out and get to bed anxious and distracted, the sun couldn't come up soon enough!

In college countless nights were spent cramming.  The result in most cases, zombie like entrance into the class room or sleeping through my 7 alarms.  I always thought it would be amazing if my body didn't fatigue.  From this, my curiosity in minimizing sleep was founded, but in so many fucked up ways.  

What does a low income student who would use SparkNotes for a shopping list (if it existed) do?  Caffeine and nicotine!  My life became polluted with chewing tobacco, coffee, and caffeine pills.

End result:  

Pros- I could stay up for 24-36 hours at a time.  

Cons- Besides the massive 12-15 hour crash on the weekends or random weekday, I was plagued with headaches, loss of strength, and lack of concentration (except with the smart drugs).

Kick boxing pulled me out of this lifestyle.  I found out what it was like to be exhausted, both mentally and physically.  Between 18 unit quarters, 2-4 hours of training a day, and 20-30 hours of machine shop work, sleep was my escape.  

As I laid down at night with ice packs on my shins the heaviness of the day sunk me into an oasis.  The Goodwill mattress sitting on my floor was no longer something to avoid, but something to look forward to.  However, there was no method to this madness, and in my usual fashion I would burn out to the point where either training or school suffered.

Flash forward to 2013... I am now working as an engineer wanting to maximize my output while maintaining. what I consider, a healthy lifestyle.  I began to research ways to increase sleep quality, decrease necessary sleep time, and accelerated body healing.  

Here is a brief overview at my day during the peak of my multivariate exploration.  

5:30 am- Wake up, swallow 6 BCAA capsules

5:35 am- Ice cold shower for 5 min

5:45 am- Foam roll legs and back for 10 min

6:00 am- Training, Cardio, light bodyweight, or surf

7:00 am- Breakfast (3 eggs w/bacon or Protein shake)

7:30 am- Arrive at work

7:00 pm- Arrive back at home

7:30 pm - Mobility work

8:00 pm -Swim or Crossfit

9:30 pm - Strength training

11:30 pm - Work from home or relax

1:00 am - Ice cold shower, Poppy-seed Extract, 6 L'Glutamine capsules

1:30 am - Sleep

All I can say is that it works! I had more energy during the days, my workouts were great, and my sleep was deeper than ever before.  The torture of cold showers in the morning and at night are by far the hardest aspect of minimizing sleep, but after a week of being consistent you no longer dread it, rather you cannot wait for the feeling that comes directly after.

So with this rave review, why would I stop?  The truth is that many of the tactics have diminishing returns.  BCAA and L'Glutamine become less effective at muscle repair as your body gets use to their daily intake.  Poppy-seed extract if taken at incorrect times or in excessive doses can inhibit REM sleep cycles.  And cold showers can be ruined when you have company or are traveling.

Have fun.  Experiment with your own combination. And comment with your results or input.

Dating Doom Pt.2

This is the second part of my dating experience post.  I hope you all enjoy reading and have some good brain stewing over it.   Leave a comment so we can continue this.  No future posts about dating. 

How do you define your "type"?  Is it someone you get along with or someone you find yourself attracted to?  Do you seek similar interests or polar opposites to make it interesting?  

In online dating you can chose to align or offset criteria with mouse clicks.  You hedge your interests and take risks in order to see what mix works.  Unfortunately all of the keywords, height ranges, and relationship expectation check boxes cannot prepare you for natural chemistry.  Setting up the first meeting is always a bit nerve wrecking.  

Speaking from experience you never know if that person you have been texting, chatting with, or talking to will have a lazy eye, be 80 lbs more than you thought, or actually way too hot to be sane.  But in reality it doesn't matter.  A failed first date for one reason or another is not a bad thing.  You cannot expect everything in this world to be fairy-tail.

What is important!!! Hindsight speaking here... is that you do truly learn from each person you meet.  Do not become desperate or settle for things that challenge your morals or extend your comfort level beyond what it should.  Meaning do not stay with the out of shape uncoordinated one if you put a lot of value into health and fitness.  Chances are it will not last and your true feelings will come out in time.  Valuable weeks, months, or years you could have been meeting new faces.  

It will be exhausting if you do not luck out and meet your soul-mate right away.  I actually took off August 2014 from dating because I realized I needed to realign my priorities, stop extending myself, and quit making calls that were out of character.  It was a nice breather!!!  

You will meet people... real people, fake people, and many just trying to sort through the same shit you are.  Some may drive you crazy.  Others may make you laugh harder than you have in months.  And still a few will make you think about you choice to go online in the first place. 

What you need to realize is that even though talking to multiple people at a given time seems irresponsible, immoral, or rude that you are in the driver seat.  You can chose to steer to a dangerous cliff (multiple partners) or take some fun bonus roads (call these exclusive relationships).

Don't be afraid when you find the lion share of your time and interest going to one individual.  There is no need for titles at this point.  Its hard to put feelings into words, but I will try.

Waking up next to a familiar face, wrestling on a Friday night, or traveling somewhere in the world with someone you get along with are some great times to be shared.  As I said before human connection is important.  Few people can live happy and fulfilling lives alone.  I am one who thought I could and everyday I see how wrong I was.

At times I look back and regret some of my choices in the dating world.  Some very dark times have been the result of hanging onto cards I didn't want to fold.  Pain, anger, sadness, empty, and disbelief are just a grab bag of words from feelings I have gone through.  

Sure, if you can avoid all of it in the first place, more power to you.  Just do not hesitate to act in fear of experiencing the bad.  

Like any failed experiment, conclusions can be drawn.  You have a working knowledge of cause and effect that you can build upon.  The only trick is not getting stuck in repetitive negative cycles.

Einstein defines insanity as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".  Put yourself out there and learn with each day.  

Dating Doom Pt.1

This is the first part of a two part entry on my dating life.  This will not be about sexual escapades, rather I will be focusing on why dating should be a goal, not a relationship.  

Many times people look at their interpersonal relationships as a necessary struggle.  The bickering between couples can be seen everyday among our friends, family, and fellow humans.  We are fundamental creatures of emotion.  

One realization I came across a few years ago is that who we chose to spend our life with greatly influences how we live our lives.  Something I never noticed in all of my previous selfish years. 

Dating, weekend BBQ's, holidays with family, and solo walk-abouts abroad have made me realize how much I love people.  Obviously frustration can mask the joy others bring into your life, but the importance of surrounding yourself with good people has never been as clear as it is now.

I like to believe that I am much different than the majority in many aspects of how I live.  Shit! I have seriously considered living in a van and a sailboat just because it would be fun and have moved 5 times in a little over 3 years in Los Angeles.  I guess you could say I am afraid of commitment.

Part of growing up is the natural drift we experience with good friends.  Marriage, children, careers, and life as a whole force us down different paths and keeping close friends becomes very difficult.  Dating tends to help fill the voids in your life that are left vacant.  At least that is how it started for me.

Carving out time to share with others is always a struggle.  Do you want to go play pool with your boys or make dinner with your girlfriend?  Three years ago I would always chose my friends.  

What it comes down to is statistics.  I am not going to bore you with data or charts.  For one, I don't think it will help shed the true light on my point.  And two, I don't have any data to back up my personal experience nor have I done the research to see if I am the rule or the exception.

Wasting no time, what I am talking about is Online Dating.  

If your first response to this was "weird", "not natural", "hook-up" then you have a consensus opinion and you should flick yourself in the eye.  In modern America meeting someone online is in a sense the only way left to meet someone with equal interests.  Going out drinking and sarging can be fun, but the return will be dismal.

Over the last two years I have dated women from Match.com, OkCupid.com, and Tinder.  From this experience I can attest to the effectivity of the web dating medium.  But the good parts have their match in negative effects.  I like to think I joined online dating because of my busy schedule and lack of exposure to those of the opposite sex.  However, the reality of it is I sort of like the idea of being shallow and chasing something that probably wont work out.

These sites all use different algorithms to "match" people based on survey questions and personality tests.  You then get to work.  In one evening you can start conversations with dozens of females.  Use corny eye opening tag lines.  Post bizarre pictures that make you stand out.  Or try to be honest with your intention to purse a meaningful relationship.  Personally, I have done all of the above.  And as it stands I have been on dates with roughly 35 girls.  

This is not meant to be an impressive number, after all the criteria is quite relative to the person and lifestyle you are looking for.  But, when compared to 3 serious girlfriends and less than 10 other girls in the previous 24 years of life, the results are pretty extreme.

But like many things in life.  Living in excess can come with its downsides. I am still single.  No longer talk to my old best friend of 10 years. And have no idea what my "type" is. 

Guest Post: G. Orozco

"It is better to fail aiming high, then to succeed aiming low. Set your sights so high, in fact, that even failure will have in it an echo of glory."  - Bill Nicholson

Failure and what it means for some.

As humans, only our successes are remembered. When you jog your memory for failures it’s something, for most that is tucked away in the corners of our minds. When we fail we experience that moment of defeat & despair. We disappointed ourselves and anyone/anything that was relying on our success. 

Failure for me is not something celebrated. It is something looked at in disgust and never want to face again. I even try to avoid it by setting low standards for myself. This in turn, is totally not promoting growth within my own capacity for true greatness. 

My own failure has never been something I’ve liked to embellish. It’s an uncomfortable space that I will try to navigate through as quickly as possible. Whether it is a failure within my own expectations, or someone I’ve failed, I don’t like it. However what does it do? At a weak point it breaks me down; beginning a spiral effect forcing me look at all the other suffering aspects in my life and makes me even more unhappy. It creates this negative canvas and spiral into self-loathing. Negative Nancy thoughts and pouty banter ensue. No matter what I do or try not to do, failure will happen at some point. It's inevitable. The universe does not let one drive a course of constant success. A mishap will eventually arise. 

Life is not perfect. So stop trying to be.

Failure instead, should promote a canvas for improvement. Showing one's fault line. Exposing  mistakes and misfortune. Creating opportunity for improvement. Making one push for the better. Even if you never thought you would fail at something, you might. If you haven't failed just yet, you may. Knowing this makes failure look like perfection. The hardest part is to look at failure in the face for what it is, accept it and learn from it. Accept that I'm not perfect, but a mistake will lead you back on your path if you look in the right direction.