Dating Doom Pt.1
This is the first part of a two part entry on my dating life. This will not be about sexual escapades, rather I will be focusing on why dating should be a goal, not a relationship.
Many times people look at their interpersonal relationships as a necessary struggle. The bickering between couples can be seen everyday among our friends, family, and fellow humans. We are fundamental creatures of emotion.
One realization I came across a few years ago is that who we chose to spend our life with greatly influences how we live our lives. Something I never noticed in all of my previous selfish years.
Dating, weekend BBQ's, holidays with family, and solo walk-abouts abroad have made me realize how much I love people. Obviously frustration can mask the joy others bring into your life, but the importance of surrounding yourself with good people has never been as clear as it is now.
I like to believe that I am much different than the majority in many aspects of how I live. Shit! I have seriously considered living in a van and a sailboat just because it would be fun and have moved 5 times in a little over 3 years in Los Angeles. I guess you could say I am afraid of commitment.
Part of growing up is the natural drift we experience with good friends. Marriage, children, careers, and life as a whole force us down different paths and keeping close friends becomes very difficult. Dating tends to help fill the voids in your life that are left vacant. At least that is how it started for me.
Carving out time to share with others is always a struggle. Do you want to go play pool with your boys or make dinner with your girlfriend? Three years ago I would always chose my friends.
What it comes down to is statistics. I am not going to bore you with data or charts. For one, I don't think it will help shed the true light on my point. And two, I don't have any data to back up my personal experience nor have I done the research to see if I am the rule or the exception.
Wasting no time, what I am talking about is Online Dating.
If your first response to this was "weird", "not natural", "hook-up" then you have a consensus opinion and you should flick yourself in the eye. In modern America meeting someone online is in a sense the only way left to meet someone with equal interests. Going out drinking and sarging can be fun, but the return will be dismal.
Over the last two years I have dated women from Match.com, OkCupid.com, and Tinder. From this experience I can attest to the effectivity of the web dating medium. But the good parts have their match in negative effects. I like to think I joined online dating because of my busy schedule and lack of exposure to those of the opposite sex. However, the reality of it is I sort of like the idea of being shallow and chasing something that probably wont work out.
These sites all use different algorithms to "match" people based on survey questions and personality tests. You then get to work. In one evening you can start conversations with dozens of females. Use corny eye opening tag lines. Post bizarre pictures that make you stand out. Or try to be honest with your intention to purse a meaningful relationship. Personally, I have done all of the above. And as it stands I have been on dates with roughly 35 girls.
This is not meant to be an impressive number, after all the criteria is quite relative to the person and lifestyle you are looking for. But, when compared to 3 serious girlfriends and less than 10 other girls in the previous 24 years of life, the results are pretty extreme.
But like many things in life. Living in excess can come with its downsides. I am still single. No longer talk to my old best friend of 10 years. And have no idea what my "type" is.